Splff's Movie Reviews

Well most of the summer movie season is over so I'm just gonna start with my most recent movie watches.

Transformers 3 - I watched it in IMAX 3d and this shit was just fucking off the chain. The movie was 2.5 hrs long and when it ended I wanted more. Top notch movie.



Sucker Punch(blu ray) - My review of this movie is pretty much summed up by this statement: This was a waste of damn good blu ray video quality, good blu ray audio, spectacular action scenes, and damn good looking bitches. You would think that when you put all that shit together, the movie can't be that bad. Nope, it's bad. You notice there is one thing missing from that list of good things about the movie.....the story. It truly kills the movie. You may like it if ou can just focus on the video, audio, action, and the bitches, but I didn't.



EDIT: Even though this mfer is holding up a sign that says 7/10, This movie is actually teetering between a 7 and a 6.

The Perfect Host(independent theater/hdnet movies) - For those that don't know HDnet is Mark Cubans cable channel. They show all kinds of shit in HD. HDnet movies shows movies in HD. Now that nothing new and the movies are usually old movies that they show, but they do something no other station does. They show certain independent/ foreign movies before they hit the theaters. The Perfect Host is one of those movies. It's got Niles in it from frazier and a bunch of other mfers that I don't know. I'm not gonna go into too much detail but the premise is pretty much a fugitive/ crook is on the run from the law and needs a place to crash, so he cons this guy(niles from frazier) into letting him in his home. That's when shit gets crazy. That's all I'm gonna say. I really enjoyed this one.

Agree about sucker punch.

I never thought a movie with spectacular visuals and awesome action scenes could be so boring

lol something you didn't like got 7/10?

Damn splff you are generous.

Joker12 wrote:lol something you didn't like got 7/10?

Damn splff you are generous.

I didn't totally dislike it lol. In fact I liked everything about it except the story lol.

7/24/11

WARNING!!!!! If you click on spoiler there is a possibility that there are MAJOR spoilers in there. No matter how tame you may think it will be, don't click it if you don't want to have the movie ruined for you.

Captain America - It's pretty good. I think it's more a setup for the Avengers than anything else, but it was still pretty good. The best part of the movie though is what you see after the credits. That's right, it's another Marvel movie that you need to stay after the credits for. This one is really worth it though. Back to the movie, the cgi to make Chris Evans look little is amazing. You get used to it after a lil bit, so when he turns into Captain America, he actually looks a lot bigger. I have seen some reviewers say that if they had made a few changes it could have been Marvel's best movie. I don't know about that, but it definitely could have been better. It's not bad though as it is.


Unknown(Blu Ray) - Now this movie started off real good and I was actually quite intrigued at the start of the movie. I like Liam Neesam as an actor so I was sure I'd like him in this. Wrong!! He's good, but every time he talks I think, "I don't have money, but what I DO have is a certain set of skills" or "I love it when a plan comes together" lol. There was no catch phrase in this one though. Anyway, the movie is intriguing at the beginning as your trying to figure out what the fuck is going on just like he is. Everything was cool until this scene:

Spoiler:

The Car Chase scene. I knew he was an assassin then because he was driving that cab like Jason Bourne lol.

I told my wife my theory after that scene and she got mad at me because she hadn't thought of it and now she couldn't get it out of her head. She hates watching movies with me for that very reason btw lol. Anyway, I figured it out and pretty much anyone that spends any decent amount of time watching movies will figure it out. From that scene on the movie went downhill. Not because the movie got worse or anything, but because I had figured it out and I was just waiting to see when it was gonna be revealed in the movie. Secretly, I was hoping I was wrong because it was way too easy for me to figure it out. I was hoping for something to throw me off, but the movie stayed the course the rest of the way. Anyway, the movie was decent, but if you're gonna have a premise like this one had, you can't give away the answer half way though the movie. Whether they did it on purpose or not I don't know, but it significantly lowered my interest for the rest of the movie.

Sidenote:

Spoiler:

It would have been cool if it was explained somehow that the events from this movie led to him getting out and leading to the events in Taken. I don't know if he's supposed to be the same character in both movies, but it would be tight. Maybe a 3rd movie to link them together?

Megamind(Blu Ray) - I know this one is old. I've had this movie since about 2 weeks after it came out on Blu Ray, but me and the fam never sat down and watched it. Well we watched it last night. It's eerily similar to Despicable Me in a lot of areas. It did do some good things on it's own though. While I didn't laugh as much in this one as Despicable Me, this was very entertaining and had a nice surprise early in the movie that I was definitely not expecting.

Spoiler:

When Metro Man dies. Looking back now though, I should have expected it. The damn name of the movie is Megamind, not metro man lol.

Anyway, Megamind did provide some laughs and it was entertaining. Both the kids and adult shouldn't have a problem watching it.

Saw Captain America last night. The first hour was tough for me to sit through. It was definitely straight story mode, but as soon as the pansy shit got out of the way and the shield started flying it was on point. I enjoyed Thor a lot more from start to finish.

The Avengers is gonna blow that bitch out of the water though. I'm excited about that.

Source Code(Blu Ray) - I really had no idea of what to expect going into this movie. While the premise has been done before, I still needed to know how they were gonna do it. The movie was good. The ending was a lil sappy but overall the movie was good. I was entertained watching it and that's all that matters. I have a few gripes about some things in the movie but none of them really take a lot away from the movie. Check it out.



The Adjustment Bureau(Blu Ray) - Now don't let the premise of this movie fool you like it did me. This is a love story through and through. Watch this with a chick and if she likes you in any kind of way you should be fucking afterwards. Because of this, I was a little disappointed in the movie. It definitely could have been waaaay better. The ones that have seen it know what I'm talking about.

Spoiler:

I mean seriously, you're a fucking angel and the only thing you can do is take shortcuts through doors? WTF?

The chick in the movie is pretty hot in a weird kind of way. She kinda got that "Anne Hathaway from Love and Other Drugs" thing going on at points in the movie. Anyway, I'm not wasting no more time talking about this one. It's not bad, but it definitely could have been better. Definitely watch this one with a chick.



Just Go With It(Blu Ray) - Now I don't know if it was the Capt Morgan that I had been drinking, but I enjoyed this movie. I was pleasantly surprised. Having said that it is still a romantic comedy and you will figure out whats gonna happen at the end about 20min into the movie lol. Now a few sentences ago, I said I enjoyed this movie. Let me get this straight, I enjoyed it for being what it is, a romantic comedy. Actually I'm just gonna go ahead and say that the Capt impaired my judgement a lil bit, but I am ok to give a review of the movie lol. Anyway, if you go into this with a open mind, you're going to have a few laughs. My summary for this movie is to drink and watch it with a lady. You'll have a few laughs and might even get you some afterwards lol. Don't blame me if you watch it sober and by yourself and you don't like it. I told you how to enjoy it.

A little bit more about Source Code.

This story is written by a guy named Philip K Dick, he is actually my favorite author, or at least in my top 5. If you saw the list of movies that were based on his stories you would probably be pretty schocked, he has had quite a few screen adaptations, the most famous are probably Minority Report and Blade Runner.

His shit is really good though, really good shit.

OK I just realized I never explained my ratings scale. I think I should do that now so yall can get calibrated with my scale. So here it is:



Flawless

I have never given any movie a 10.....ever. Even some of my favorite movies of all time are flawed. The highest score I've ever gave a movie is 9.8. Yeah it technically rounds to a 10, but it's not a real 10. Some movies that received that score from me are:

- Inception

- *Die Hard( I literally can not stop watching this once I see it on)

- *Spiderman( I saw it 4 times in the theater when it came out)

* = one of my top five faves of all time.



Real Good

These movies are real good. You should definitely see these movies at some point. You won't be disappointed. Even if you don't agree that the movie is a 9, most likely you will still enjoy it. I buy these movies on Blu ray when they come out. Some movies that got a 9 from me are:

- Sherlock Homes

- A Team

- Tron Legacy



Good

These are movies that are enjoyable to watch, but are flawed in some way. Maybe it's too unrealistic, or they didn't go into detail about something or they just messed something up. There is a certain aspect about these movies that I don't like, but I still enjoyed it. Most of the time, I give this score if the movie could have been a 9 if they had done some things differently/better. I don't mind seeing these movies in the theater or watching them on Blu ray, but I'm prolly not gonna buy it. Some recent movies that got an 8 from me are:

- Battle L.A.

- Fast Five

- Thor ( I'm gonna buy this because I like good superhero movies)



Decent

These movies are like 8's except the parts I didn't like in these are real bad. I really don't like certain aspects of these movies and feel that they take away from the movie as a whole. I try to avoid seeing movies like this at the theater. They may be ok to watch at home though. Depending on your personality you may be mad that you watched it lol. Some recent movies that got a 7 from me are:

- Hangover 2

- Cars 2

- Sucker Punch(teetering between 6 and 7)



Pretty Bad

These movies are mostly bad, but there are some parts that I liked. The movie as a whole though is pretty bad. Depending on your tolerance level it's watchable. I wold recommend not spending any money to see these movies. If you can catch it on HBO or something like that, that's better than wasting your time getting it from netflix or somewhere. Personally I get mad if I wasted my time watching anything below a 7. If it's on Blu Ray, I may turn it off. Some recent movies that I gave a 6 to are:

- Watchmen(couldn't watch it all the way through. Long AND boring = a bad combination)

- Green Hornet(Stopped it halfway through. Whoever casted Seth Rogen should be fired forever)

- Ghost Rider( I left the theater on this mostly because we snuck in to see it. I did watch the whole thing on Blu Ray later on)

-

Horrible

You will prolly never see a review from me with or lower. Mostly because I don't have the patience to watch the whole thing. Pretty much I don't like any portion of the movie whatsoever. The more I dislike the movie the lower the score. You may say, "well splff, if you're not gonna finish the movie, why do you have a score for it?" Good question. There are times when you have to sit through a horribly bad movie. Your son might have been begging you for days to see it or your wife or significant other really wants to watch the movie or your friend paid your way so you'll watch the movie with him and you don't wanna be rude. I have listed some movies that got a horrible rating and why I didn't walk out on the movie. I also will give the score of the movie.

- Dreamcatcher - Kid paid my way to go see this with him and it was fantastically horrible. I wanted to leave soooo bad, but I didn't wanna be rude. The movie fucked me up so bad that I got 2 speeding tickets the next week. No lie. That was 2003. I didn't get another speeding ticket until earlier this year. Fucking dreamcatcher. I gave it a

- The Last Airbender - Let me preface this with I watched every episode of the cartoon and loved the show. When it was announced that this was coming to the theater I couldn't wait. I heard the bad news that it was bad so I decided to wait until it came out on Blu Ray to watch it. I was definitely gonna watch it caused I loved the cartoon so much. The story was already there so I thought how bad could it be? I figured it was just people that didn't watch the show that didn't like it. I made the big big mistake of making it the movie that we were gonna watch for family night. Just like with dreamcatcher the movie was fantastically horrible. They even messed up the pronunciation of the characters names. The main characters name is Aang and was supposed to be pronounced (Ai-ng), but they pronounced it (U-ng). Another character named Sokka's name was pronounced (S-oe-ka) when it should have been pronounced (S-a-ka). Im fairly certain that M.Night Shyamalan never watched one episode of the cartoon before he did this movie. There's a bunch of other stuff that's just horribly bad. Anyway, I had to suffer through it because it was family night and I couldn't just take the movie out. I gave it a only because the special effects were pretty good.

So there you have it. Hopefully yall have some kind of idea where I'm getting these scores from now lol.

Did you ever read Watchmen?

If you watch the uncut, directors edition, it is about 3 hours long and has a lot of good scenes from the book that were left out.

The theatrical cut of the movie was flawed, left a lot out, and for those who didn't know the story didn't really make sense and didn't invest viewers into the story of the characters.